Footsteps on the sand

It was a June afternoon, drizzly with overcast skies. We stood at the edge of a slushy tract trying to focus on a clump of coconut trees at a distance. The broker stood beside us, animatedly explaining where the road connector would come up from this ‘piece’ of land to the main road. He was trying to sell us the property for a ‘farmhouse’- our weekend getaway from the city and post-retirement destination. 

This search for a property was by then a familiar weekend pastime. Till one Friday morning, we chanced upon an advertisement on the Home & Property pages of Telegraph. A house by the sea in the beach town of Digha was up for sale. We fell in love with the place, instantly and the next six months was a whirlwind. We were caught up in buying the place, renovating, interior-designing and landscaping. Every Friday, we hit the highway with the kids and returned on Sunday evenings. Slowly our favourite books, family games, my son’s cricket paraphernalia, kitchenware and full set of clothes, was up at the house. We only needed to drive down to another ‘home’.

The highway was under construction and we told ourselves that we really didn’t mind the four hours of drive. The Government was upbeat on many projects and there was talk of the Raichak Expressway over river Haldi. We estimated that in a couple of years travel time would be down to two-and-a-half hours.

On the other side, the house was taking good shape. We discovered some old Sarkar branded chullahs and set up a barbeque pit, built a balcony space overlooking the sea, planted our X’mas tree the first season and played cricket with our 7 year old on a well maintained lawn.

Paintings by my daughter

Salim project got dropped, the State Government changed but these little changes remained news clips as we were well engrossed and adjusted to the new pace of life. For us, Digha remained a family space. For my parents, suffering from cancer and mom-in-law with limited mobility, unable to travel, the house was the only holiday option. My daughter, painted murals on the walls of the house and looked forward to the evenings when the beach town gathered life. There were vendors hawking shell knick-knacks, the roundabouts in winter, the first ice-cream parlour and the balloons for target shooting. We were probably slow to notice that hawkers were proliferating, newer places for ‘’fooding’’ and lodging coming up and the return trips were getting longer with heavier traffic.

About this time, we planned a holiday at Pattaya. My son was quite impressed with the drive from Bangkok airport to Pattaya. Browsing through some tourist literature, later, he asked us very innocently, “what do you think is the distance from Bangkok to Pattaya”.

Me, Ï am not sure, what does the brochure say?”.

“167 km and we made it in 1 ½ hour. Now, what is the distance between our home and Digha?”

 

He had a good point, there. 187 km and we were taking 3 – 4 hours each way. On one long weekend, due to some political rally, we reached past midnight, completely exhausted and after a 7 hour drive. Another weekend we came back from mid-way. However, these were quickly brushed aside as stray incidents and we kept looking forward to the weekends.

On one such weekend, we were approached by 2 gentlemen offering to sell us the tract between our home and the sea front. ‘But, that’s within 250 yards of the sea and in our knowledge cannot be used for constructing a building’, we said. Not wanting to be caught by surprise, we did evince interest and asked to see the property documents. After some follow-up from our end, we concluded that the property was not properly backed with papers. Much to our surprise, the plot did get sold and a horrific three storey tall structure came up, completely blocking our view of the sea. 

Where earlier incidents were discordant, this was the moment of disconnect. We stopped our regular weekend jaunts. The children got engrossed in their studies. They did return a couple of times, though, with their friends. Somewhere, deep down, we know that change – in the skyline, quality of tourists, age and taste of our children, parents passing away – contributed in small ways towards our dwindling interest. Even as a post-retirement destination, the place had lost its attraction with the sea-view gone!

The current government has worked to have the place spruced up. Train connectivity has improved. Throughout winter, the place is choc-a-bloc over weekends. What it still lacks is good quality food or eateries, leave alone a respectable restaurant. The power grid is unreliable and power-outs are common in summers when A/Cs are in us or when a Norwester disconnects the cables.

Interestingly, one summer holiday while working on a project with my son, we discovered that Warren Hastings had referred to Digha as the Brighton of the East. Out of inquisitiveness, I visited Brighton in September this year. It might be the fond memories of Digha but at first sight, I did relate with Hastings. There are many parallels to draw between the two places. Both don’t cater to very high end tourists, are low on glamour, have a long sea front, small beach town activities for families to engage with their kids. What makes the big difference are the wide promenade, the excellent Fisn-n-chip stores, the clean road and beach and the quietness that compliments the scenic beauty of the Brighton shores. 

Brighton by the Sea

The excellent Fish-n-chips store

We have sold off the property. On some odd Saturday evenings, there is that slight tug at the heart, when one misses the kids (who are now away and studying abroad), Panther & Elsa our lovely Labradors and those moments of simple family bonding and carefree times. Digha will always remain a part of us but our presence there will fade out in time, like footsteps on the sand.

A Moment in Time with Sister Nivedita

A lady born 100 years before me. Someone I have known only as a 'line item' in history texts. Her calling was social work and nationalism - against my corporate career and comfort with multiculturalism. 

These were some of the first thoughts on my mind, when The Sisters of The Ramakrishna Sarada Mission invited me to speak as part of their Sister Nivedita's 150th birth anniversary celebrations. The topic   - Is Sister Nivedita relevant for today's Corporate woman?

I chose to explore the subject in three dimensions:

* Does her personality lend itself to becoming a role model for today's corporate woman?
* Are there any relevant lessons from her writings?
* What do we learn from others who have known her?


Role model for today’s Corporate Woman

We see in Margaret Elizabeth Noble (long before she met Swami Vivekananda and became Sister Nivedita) a social worker, teacher and author. She chose to excel in all fields and pioneered teaching methods which explored beyond mere instruction to real awakening of the mind. As a writer she was one of the founding members of the Sesame Club - the oldest literary club of England. She had an eclectic choice of subjects with equal affinity for physics, arts, music and literature. During these early years and later in coming to India, she exhibited the courage to follow her dreams.

What she wrote about Women

There are two significant essays that I concentrated on to understand her position on women - 'the future education of the Indian woman' & 'The present position of women'. I share some of her thoughts, juxtaposing these in the context of the contemporary working woman.

** Education
"Synthesis of history, geography and science must be achieved by both man & woman as there is no sex in truth"

She repeatedly emphasised on the need to give relevant education to women and integrate them in the struggle for nationalism. She mentioned about three elements for a complete education - Nature (science), Earth (geography) and Time (history). She had deep conviction, that every individual must understand the context of nationality by first studying the history of the land – with its divergent elements of culture, race and language. This knowledge then needs synthesis in the larger context of other Nations or the worldview. Finally, one needs to explore and understand the many elements of Nature and our interaction and existence within this space. As she put it "education and character leads to true realisation of knowledge". This focus on science and gender neutral knowledge is akin to the call, even today, for more women in coding, stem cell research and other science and engineering streams, which still remain male bastions.

** Self Reliance 
"The whole of East understands the need of a woman's having pin- money. In India such matters as sale of milk, cattle and fruit are all the perquisites of the mistress of the household"

Interestingly, in her essay on the position of women, she mentions how pin-money has been an essential income and savings base for the homemaker across countries and generations. We have all been hearing a lot about this lady's hoard for the rainy day as the demonetisation news broke out. She had the vision of widows about 20 yrs of age making jams, pickles and chutneys for markets in England and America. She mentions that "main advance of women come from striking out into new professions and careers by unmarried women" a matter which requires attention, to date, in girl child education and job options. "In India we have a few women doctors and writers" she rues

** Gender Diversity
"From end to end of India, all who understand are agreed that the education of our women needs, at this crisis, undergo some revision. Without their aid and cooperation none of the tasks of the present can be finally accomplished. The problems of the day are woman's as well as mans"

In the above lines, I find her call for gender diversity in the nationalism movement akin to what we seek to achieve in Top management and Company Boards. Ethics, EQ and the capability to handle complex relationships are, even today, research backed claims for diversity.

** Women Leaders as Role Models
"In India also women have held power from time to time as rulers and administrators often with memorable success.......
The woman ruler finds a sentiment of awe and admiration waiting for her which gives her an immense advantage over a man in the completion for enduring fame"

Her reference to women leaders in an attempt to raise awareness and engagement, has a strong relevance even today. We see, Industry and HR fora engaging with and rewarding Corporate Women Leaders to encourage a sense of identity with and awareness of career direction amongst other women.

** Civic Consciousness
"Under the civic ideal, both men and women tend to be recognised as individuals holding definite relations to each other in the public economy and by their own free will cooperating to build the family"

"Regarding the civic evolution of woman as a process it is easy to see that it will always take place most rapidly in those communities and at those epochs when political or industrial transformation or both are most energetic and individuating". 

Her comments in the context of bringing women into the mainstream of public life, finds resonance in today's corporate and political spheres. We all recognize that an environment has to be provided for more and more women to participate across in all works of life.

Views from her friends and associates

Exploring her relevance through the lens of others who knew her closely was my third and final effort. 

Mrs J C Bose, writes about the "Great love between father and child". She mentions about her father's conviction that there will be a larger calling for her, which is, personally, closest to my heart. I believe that a father, in many ways, defines the sense of self-worth, provides the first experience of collaborative work and helps develop communication and persuasion skills for asserting presence in a man’s world. The very important vision, that there is no man or woman’s bastion, is first learnt at home. We read the same messages in what our winning Olympian trio of 2016 – P V Sindhu, Sakshi Malik & Deepa Karmakar, shared in their interviews. 

A single mindedness is definitely required when you step out to break barriers. Here, we could take some learning from J F Alexander's obituary, where he talks about "work work work was her motto" and "with her passes one of those few who have made Hinduism masculine and aggressive". Mrs Bose saw in her the strength or resolve of a singular object, to serve our women as one from within. Her personality earned her the sobriquet of Thunderbolt.

S K Ratcliffe, a journalist with The Statesman refers to her comments at a debate at The Dalhousie Institute (a social club) on the subject of Marriage v/s Celibacy. A hundred years ago she gave ‘a brilliant little exposition of the contrasted and complementing views of the place of woman as mother and as individual’.

Surely then, a hundred years later, we could actively learn from her deep intellectualism, clear sense of purpose, indefatigable resolve to achieve her object and her prolific writings.