Forgetting

I was to take a flight back last week and luckily checked my purse that morning, only to find I was not carrying my house keys. It would have been a disaster arriving past 11 pm and not being able to let myself into the flat. As it happened, there is a duplicate in my office and I asked a colleague to send it across through the driver, saving myself some hassle and much embarrassment. 

I have always had a curiosity or call it fascination about the act of forgetting. From a literary point of view, an early recall is a Marathi poem we learnt in junior school called “Mama ki ainak” or Uncle’s spectacles. Uncle turned the house upside down one day and scolded all and sundry for not knowing where he had kept his spectacles. Most of the family kept a safe distance fearing his temper. At the end, the spunkiest and the youngest child pointed out that his spectacles were resting on his head! Robert Lynd’s essay on the subject is another piece I had saved for many years in a scrap book and would return to reading it occasionally. In the wonderland of Wodehouse, there was the forgetful Lord Emsworth whose mind had space for only two worthy causes – his gardening and his prize pig. All else he was susceptible to forget, providing the delightful plots for the Blanding’s series. Of the many Wodehouse stories, the one I remember best is Money in the Bank. Here Lord something-something, turned the family wealth into a stash of diamonds and hid it away, leaving a cryptic note in his diary – “money in the bank”. This in normal course would not have been a problem but, the Lord explicitly did not trust the Banks. Many delightful, Wodehouse style incidents later the true location of the diamonds turns out to be the bank of the pond at the Lord’s mansions. 

I am not a stranger to forgetful situations. I remember once, driving in for petrol at the AAEI petrol pump on Ballygunge Circular Road, topping up the tank, only to realize that I was not carrying my purse. Luckily, in those days I was working with Exide and had launched a battery branded specifically for taxis at AAEI. One of the attendants recognized me and we agreed that the money could be paid when returning from work that evening. Such an incident should have ensured that I never forgot to take my purse, but this didn’t happen. I went on to avail of services at my parlor, only to figure out I was carrying my purse but sans cash. I drove down a good five kilometers in lunch break to pick up our wedding photographs and, guess what? Again, without purse or cash! This time I wasn’t as lucky. The horrible owner refused to part with the photos till paid in FULL! 

Some days back, a lady posted on Twitter that she cannot figure out how her customers of bespoke sarees, who take a lot of effort to work out unique designs with her, manage to forget the same in the hotels they visit. Well, I have a host of stories in that line. The happier ones have been where I came home and checked immediately and could retrieve the same. Most times, I have realized only when I wanted to wear that outfit, many days later. Trident holds the gold standard in hotels for me. I once left a T-shirt there and they were kind enough to tag this to my husband’s privilege account and hand it over to him on his next visit. My pet peeve is that all Hotels should provide chargers. I am sure there are many like me who leave behind chargers that can easily provide for a back-up bank at no extra cost. 

What probably even my family doesn’t know, I once almost set a prestigious Club on fire by leaving the dry kettle on. This was in early days when kettles did not have reliable cut-offs and the room had a little note requesting that it be unplugged when not in use. They tracked me down and I had to pay damages – kettle and burnt-out socket. I considered that my lucky day!

Seasonal Flowers

 

“A flower’s appeal is in its contradictions – so delicate in form yet strong in fragrance, so small in size yet big in beauty, so short in life yet long on effect.” – Terry Guillemets

 

Impatiens tended to by the hubby

Another winter is here. The Impatiens are in full bloom. I sit here, marveling at the range of colors. Science teaches us that a flower absorbs all other colors in the light spectrum, except for the color we see. So, the red flower is absorbing the VIBGYO, except for red and the yellow flower is absorbing VIBGYR and reflecting the yellow. Now visualize a flower bed; each flower exhibits individualism in absorbing a unique set of colors and at the same time exhibits teamwork in lending a different color in the bunch. Would we not want to be the same as human beings? Bring color, absorb the unwanted vices, reflect the wanted virtues and add color to this world in a state of harmony.

 

Petunias

Last year we had only Petunias in our balcony garden. All flowers bloomed in a purple and wore a monotonous look. This year, we did not want to take a chance and added Impatiens for variety. The Petunias are now in full bloom and their burst of colors is jostling with the Impatiens for attention. We would like to believe that a little competition brought out the best in the Petunias.

The Sunflower standing tall

Seasonal flowers evoke many memories. I grew up in a small but beautiful and open south-west facing flat in Bombay. In one corner of the balcony, Mom had a deep and wide concrete flowerbed. Through the year, Mom worked to tease green shoots from seeds and tend the plants to grow the season’s flowers. Sunflowers, Zinnias, Balsam, Flocks, Verbena, Petunias, Chrysanthemums, Marigolds are some I vividly remember. As the season got over, she neatly snipped off the flowers just before they started to whither and these went into a variety of vases in all our rooms. I recall one birthday (in July), when she made me a hairband with colorful Balsams. At the same time, I remember a day when she toppled over her most favorite vase (Czechoslovakian crystal and a wedding gift) and stayed quiet and withdrawn for the greater part of the day. Such happy and sad memories, together make our lives. Mine are intertwined in this array of colors.

The fragrant lilies with nestling insects

We changed many homes between Bombay, Calcutta and Delhi but seasonal flowers remained a constant in our lives. So much so that my sister and daughter are nurturing this hobby with full acknowledgement to the passion that Mom inculcated in them. Some blooms, like this red Dahlia, I have photographed in Mom's garden almost three decades back. Lilies find their way from garden to vases, as they have done in the family for generations. 

Dahlias across the generations

Cherry Blossoms

The Wistful Wisteria

The daughter has taken this love many miles away and sends us pictures of Primroses as we had only read in Enid Blyton's books. Her garden has many rare flowers like Wisteria, Anemones, Morning Glory, Tulips and Daffodils. The sister, occasionally, sends a good morning message with some rare flowers from her balcony garden.

In all its Morning Glory

 

Enid Blyton and the Primroses

I continue to stand by and take pleasure. In my teenage years I used to take photographs and make out handmade greeting cards with prints of the flowers. Now, I doff my hat to the husband and ladies and put up a post or two on Instagram. In the rush of life, it is important to take those moments to appreciate beauty and thank those who bring it so endearingly in our lives.

Pansies from Daughter's and Sister's gardens

Old Dog and New Tricks

My father was a great one for repeating the adage – “you don’t grow old. You become old when you cease to grow”. Couple that with the other one that goes, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” and you have just about summarized the conflicts of “becoming” old.

Doing some random reading on dementia, I learnt that physical exercise plays a good part in keeping dementia at bay. This is another dimension to our earlier understanding that mental agility requires new learning and reading.

“Studies show that people who are physically active are less likely to experience a decline in their mental function and have lower risk of developing Alzheimer’s disease. Physical activity is one of the known modifiable risk factors for dementia”  - Dr Jonanthan Graff-Radford, M.D.

He goes on, in his response, to explain that better blood flow and chemicals circulation improve cognitive responses. Also, physical activity slows down some of the natural reduction in brain connections that occur with aging.

In Okinanwa, the fountainhead of the life philosophy “ikigai”, it is believed that a key component of staying healthy is to “keep moving” throughout the day. Okinawans believe that hectic exercise can many times be a deterrent and therefore, recommend gentler forms of continuous movement. There is a form of such gentle exercise popularized by radio and called Radio Taiso (you might like to check this out on YouTube). With simple exercises, like lifting your arms above your head and bringing them down again, Radio Taiso is an easy to repeat form of exercise for the Japanese.

At a personal level, I have followed a regular exercise and swimming routine. With Covid, the latter came to a halt, and I did notice a little lethargy and of course some weight gain. This first led to diversifying the routine and introducing some weights. I was still looking for some fun factor in the routine when someone sent to me a hula-hooping video. Eshna Kutty was in this video for Exide Batteries under their #WhatDrivesYou online promo.

Hula hooping? At my age? I kept following Eshna and other hoopers and just grew to love what I saw. They were blending music and movement with a lot of opportunity for improvising. It appeared like easy and fun. Last January, I finally subscribed to Eshna’s online classes It was very difficult at the start and I had to overcome shyness to demonstrate my utter incapability in front of young ladies easily half my age, with the youngest being barely nine! Eshna only encouraged me to set small goals. “If you are now managing up to a count of ten, try to keep it for 20 counts”, she said. Note, we are practically talking seconds here.

Many more days of struggle followed till I had my moment of epiphany. Revisiting the online videos, I figured that music played an important role in the routine. It probably takes your mind off the fear of dropping the hoop and nudges you to enjoy the moment. I picked up a couple of cheerful songs to help me in my journey and took up a small goal of keeping the hoop going for just the length of one song. That meant getting into a three to five minutes routine.

 

Da-da-di-dum, I am now doing an easy 12-15 minutes with three to four songs playing in a string. The old dog has learnt a new trick, with a little inspirational reading, experimenting and much persistence.

What will it be next, belly-dancing?