Managing Up

An ex-colleague, recently went missing from home, triggering a discussion on work stress and resultant depression. A little over a year back, he resigned and went back to his original employers. On his disappearance one learnt that he had not been going to work for a few months and was under treatment.

A member of the senior management team, I remember the teasing glint in his eyes and a pleasant half-smile, the first day I joined office, asking me whether one actually required "marketing" in cement. We sat in adjacent chambers and ever so often his booming hearty laugh would invariably beckon me across for a cup of coffee. As roles changed and he moved to Mumbai - I remembering lamenting the loss of a friend and sounding board.

As normally happens, given our busy schedules, we drifted apart. Once in a while, bumping into each other I gathered he was not happy with his new assignment. When he moved back to his erstwhile employers, one did sense peace with his decision. Then Boom! This news.

While depression is a complex subject and one would not like to jump to conclusions on what was the trigger in this particular case, work related stress is a growing reality. Fact remains that work tensions are not welcomed back home and many times the spouse is unable to add value or help in stress relief. In the case of this particular colleague, one is pushed to reflect that we are lending very little support to each other within the Organization. While there are supposedly structured off sites and intra Company engagements to facilitate bonding, honest conversations and friendly advice is hard to come by.

This places a dual responsibility on each of us to question our own leadership style and simultaneously handle the most important working relationship - that with the boss. I have heard colleagues' complaints of health, lack of well being and anxiety caused by bosses. Gallup surveys normally support that more than 50% of employees leave bosses and not Organizations.

Job changes, at senior levels, is fraught with risks. To have to do so, believing that one cannot manage the current situation (particularly relationship with the boss) is distressing for the Organization and the individual. The former, particularly because such changes breaks a leadership chain and sometimes risks continuity of business.

Managing up, sadly, is a skill that has not been institutionalised and taught to young officers working their way up the Organization or as a part of management school syllabi. I can only synthesise my own experience in suggesting an approach and probably contributing in a small measure to the future of further structured study on the subject. My solution lies around Work, Self & Communication.

The starting point is in providing comfort about the work that is being done. Even if you think your boss knows what's going on, update him on how you read the situation, new data you are processing, your progress and potential challenges. This firstly eases the tension caused by untimely questions from him and helps in putting both of you on the same page - great facilitator when there is actually a crisis.

It is equally important to manage your own negative emotions regarding the boss' behaviour. The ability to set aside personal ego and develop a strong business persona lies in reminding oneself that the boss is reacting to his own job related tensions and not to you as an individual. In managing yourself, you need to watch out for self defeating behaviour like stone walling or counter attacking.

Effort is required to create an environment that facilitates early discussions and problem resolution. The most important communication to have is the one about your career and growth. Many a time, at senior roles, this forms the basis of much mistrust and distress. The feeing that your boss is being threatened by your growing contribution or (as it necessarily gets narrow at the top) is not finding challenging assignments or growth opportunities for you. 

Finally, it makes a full circle to your own reality check as a boss. Are you repeating the same patterns in your relationships with your N-1 ? Are you being a rebel leader, challenging the boss ? Are you insisting on alignment within your team, even as you remain mis-aligned to his approach ? Are you picking up distress signals from your peers ? These, additionally impact your attitude and responses and can become the ultimate determinant to your peace of mind.