While I shamelessly pinch the title from an old Perry Como number, the lyrics, understandably, are completely out of synch with these times. The relevance of the topic, however, isn't.
On Women's Day, this year we invited the ladies in our office to share their "breaking barriers" stories and the best 3 were from small towns. A lady from Chiitorgarh wrote : "at the age of 5, my father encouraged me to cross the main road on my own and buy milk and bread. He taught me cycling when I was 9 years of age and gradually I shifted to a Scooty and finally a car. Today, I enjoy driving on highways" at the age of 18, this lady lost her father to a road accident. She had to step in and take charge of a younger sister and mother, complete her studies and get a job. Another lady, proudly stated that she is the daughter of a farmer and being good in academics, received full support from her father to get to where she is today.
At home, the dinning table was our decisions space. A nuclear family, Dad daily (apart from the 10-12 days he traveled on work) risked being (over)ruled by the 3 ladies at home. Age was not a discriminator at home. Whether it was buying a TV (folks my age will recall this was a big decision in the early 70s) to traveling on an out-station school trip, I had a say even as a 10 year old. I remember in my early teens in Delhi, one evening we were driving around town and Dad stopped before a General Store. He pulled out his wallet and handed it over to me, so I could pick up some ice cream from the store, while Mom and he stayed back in the car. Mom was not certain this was very wise but I recall Dad's statement on that day "I trust her". A simple statement and one I learnt to value at a much later age. He meant more than trusting me with the safe keep of the wallet, the accountability for the money in it, the capability to look after myself and the ability to make the correct choices. It is this same trust that left him unfazed when I drove home late from work in a low reliability Gazelle car (makers Standard Motors which wrapped up business in the late eighties).
A man far ahead of his times, he truly believed that a woman was capable of much more than a man. For him, this did not mean being a feminist. Quite to the contrary, he believed in his daughters learning everything. So be it Rabindrasangeet (as true blue probashi kids growing up in Mumbai), dress making, baking to short programs at Indo-American Society during summer breaks on topics from Public Speaking to Business Correspondence, Interior Designing and Speed Reading (his only regret being that I drew the line on Self-hypnosis which honestly I, too, regretted in later years) I did it all. While quietly preparing his daughters for the Corporate world, whether man or woman , he believed firmly in appropriate grooming. He was very keen that my sister and I take a formal course in make-up and hairdos - another thing on which his tomboy daughter disagreed (again a learning, which I corrected with my teenage daughter, who is today trained in professional grooming).
If there was another thing on which he had complete conviction, it was reading and learning. Prior to enrolling at the driving school he had us read up on driving. I literally learnt to swim from a guide book and had him take a very keen interest in my sewing machine and bought me dress designing accessories and Vogue magazines, during my college years when I stitched my own clothes. Once again, an early conversation with my sister comes to mind. My sister was academically brilliant and an avid reader. I started on Harold Robbins and Arthur Haley at an early age and remember him mentioning that there is never a given "right age" for reading a book.
If I were to draw a direct connect to my current portfolio, it goes back to when I was in Class VIII. Our school project work and holiday homework meant preparing charts. Dad had one of his Sales Conferences and asked for my help with his charts. Just by chance, I happened to note some of the numbers and was able to pick up an anomaly. That established me as his regular assistant and I was soon a proud owner of a set of stencils, sketch pens and an 18" ruler for my first professional break.
This theme has received some public attention, of late, with our PM flagging-off the #SelfieWithDaughter and Sheryl Sandberg endorsing an Ariel advertisement where a father rues the stereotypical role families impose on their daughters ~ http://money.cnn.com/2016/02/25/news/sheryl-sandberg-India-share-the-load/ . The ad reminded me of one of our most endearing memories of growing up - Mom and Dad making the evening rotis with him tossing the rotis on the tawa before Mom took over and placed each directly on the flame to make them puff up - when any failed the fault was Dad's but when they turned out good, she was the one who made them perfect !
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