Travel tales - the women I meet

You will not have heard about these women. Nor had I till work took me to the interior markets of Rajasthan and Madhya Pradesh. For all known purposes these States favour the male child. Take any yardstick - literacy, employment, sex ratio, mean age at marriage - and the picture is grim. Yet, respect for tradition runs alongside respect for women. Amidst the apparent contradiction, I have seen and shared some beautiful moments with strongly bonded families.

In these stretches, typically a dealer store is an extension of the family home. The house rests atop the store. A warm cup of masala chai is prepared at home and served with some hot snacks, fruits and or dry fruits. Nowadays, given the market grapevine, they have learnt of my preference for black coffee without sugar. A drink affectionately prepared ("bitter coffee with just hot water?") not fully understood and curiously watched over, when partaken. Business discussions over, I am invited to meet the family. It is very common to be introduced to the girl child who is invariably studying CA or architecture. As one of my dealer's wife explained " Aur kuch nahin toh shaadi ke baad, ghar behete ek-aad IT file kar legi" ( if not anything else she can earn a little income by managing a couple of Income Tax files). I am slowly building a network of bright young girls, who are being encouraged to adopt me as a role model. I must, honestly admit, this makes me feel proud.

The expectation from the boy child on the other hand is a mere graduation. "Zyada padhne se kya hoga. Business toh sambhalna padhega" (what is the use of higher education as he will have to help out in the family business).  

This is not to give the impression that young ladies are not considering a career. I have met students in engineering, business management and those employed in the IT sector and hope to follow them in the years to come in the Corporate sector. Recently, I met a feisty channel partner's wife, with a legal background, in government service, working as counsellor for rape victims. 

Earlier in this week, I was being served by an unassuming elderly lady, as I sat around with my team and dealer. It was a lunch invite at his home. Suddenly, the dealer mentioned with a lot of pride that his mother had retired from government service. She was a teacher. Not just that, she used to take a bus and then trudge 4 Kms each way ( sometimes carrying him in her arms, as they did not have the requisite support systems at home). His mother went on to explain how financial difficulties hit them when the family business went through a rough patch and her father suggested that she become self reliant. The girl child education came in handy and she could take up the teaching job.

The other surprises are retail outlets, across the country and in my previous stint in FMCG, where the lady of the house "man the store" (chauvinism intended) in the mid-morning slot, while her husband is away to the nearest town for stocking-up. Sitting at the counter from 11 am - 2 pm, after finishing the household chores and before the children return from school is not uncommon. A dealer in Chattisgarh, recently mentioned with pride, that his wife anchored prices at the store several times better than him.

Adversity may sometimes become that chance call on diversity. A husband's sudden death, disability or accident, when the children are young and studying, may well bring the lady of the house to take charge of the business. 

An intriguing combination is the covertly supportive wife. She will normally keep a respectful distance while conversation is on, standing behind her husband but chip-in with some sharp observation on a commercial point. In a market we have recently entered, I had the pleasant surprise of the lady of the house praising the earlier Company and placing expectations from us, while her husband ( the dealer) shuffled his feet and grinned sheepishly trying to interject. 

This might be a very limited snapshot but when I meet these ladies I see strength of character, smartness and a seamless bond between the urban corporate me and the homemaker lady in the many towns of India.