Necessary but not Sufficient

 It is difficult, nay impossible, to remain unmoved by the accounts of sexual misconduct outed in the last few days. As a woman leader and for a daughter who has just embarked on her career, I had to absorb and make sense of all that is being shared.

#MeToo is a powerful movement. More power to those brave enough to have come forward. A year after Harvey Weinstein was accused of being a sexual predator, women who speak out are taken more seriously and men who abuse are more likely to pay a price. At the cost of sounding cliched, though, with great power comes great responsibility. The conversation is about sexual harassment and respecting consent. It is not about naming and shaming. That can be a manner of addressing the behaviour but one has to get to the root and change the mindset.

My moment of epiphany was on reading a tweet by a senior women professional. She was reflecting on how we got us (women) through the door, to the table and to being taken seriously. At the same time she rued not having done enough for the basic right to freedom and decency.

That, seriously got me to look back at my own career in what has all through been in traditional male bastions. Moreover, in a career in sales and marketing, I have toured extensively through Indian states and internationally. However, it was different in "our times". 

Firstly, it was our conditioning - you are accountable for your safety. So one traveled, worked, checked into a hotel and stayed put in the room. The one odd time you tried to have a drink at the bar (leave alone hotels but also in your Club) you ended up being propositioned. Over the years, you realised that you have been to great cities but hesitated to discover its culinary delights or many sights as you chose to be "careful".

What is even more important is that you sacrificed on networking and will never know whether it resulted in missed opportunities.

Secondly, as a real minority you did not present a threat. This is borne out by the fact that in areas like education, entertainment and journalism (where there has been a larger number of women for years) is where we are seeing the momentum on #MeToo. 

Thirdly, it was somewhat difficult to connect in the pre-mobile age. Permission had to be sought in person, or through the hotel house-phones. Landlines did not provide direct access to an individual. When technology changed, the need to seek permission could not be controlled.

Times have changed. 

As more women opt for a career and many despite family pressures, they will insist on equal opportunities. Not just on the job but the right to be out in public places, be seen and heard outside the confines of an office space or a single organisation. They will also have their right to unwind after a day's work in a place and in a manner that does not restrict freedom. The same that is a given for their male colleagues.

An issue that cannot be overlooked is the threat perception. The exercise of power is a game. Sexual overtures send the message that you (the lady) are weak and need me to help or promote your career. You marginalise her performance by hinting she needs your support. Further, it is not uncommon to brag about achievements and many times a particular lady gets branded as "available". Sexism is a larger bane. The men who wait on the fringes, do not predate but reserve a right to be judgmental. So, she "slept her way to the top" is a comment you may easily spread without any knowledge of the person.

It is not, therefore about controlling behaviour, it is about changing the mindset which is not restricted to men alone. The assumption that if she is out of home, opting to drink, going single to a party or staying back late -she is "available".  Naming, I fear might superficially mask behaviour but at the same time open up a host of problems for working women. As has been seen in the case of the 'moms unite for Kavanaugh', there will be many irate wives, mothers and the boy's club who would unite to berate and victimise. Also, such high profile failures will be touted as examples of sexual harassment being used as a weapon. The superficial contriteness of those called out  is threatening to trivialise the issue.

There is already intense debate on whether consensual relationship between people in a reporting relationship falls within purview of workplace harassment. An actress is contesting the sexual harassment claim made by another.  Many are opting to remain silent, while at the other end of the spectrum with television joining the fray there is much noise. Then again, one must reflect that between the Weinstein movement and the current #MeTooIndia there has been almost a year of silence. Knowing the fickle social media, the forthcoming elections might anytime divert all attention. 

Men's predation of women, risks becoming yet one more battlefield. In this battle the advantage as of now is to the men - by their sheer numbers in positions of power. It is the Sun Tzu moment for women, to step back, unite and strategise.