T2 coverage on The Telegraph She Awards

Madhumita Basu, one of the three corporate winners of The Telegraph SHE awards, shares her journey with t2

Madhumita Basu, chief of sales and marketing, and a member of the country executive council of Lafarge India, receives The Telegraph She Award at ITC Sonar... My career started as a management trainee. I was fairly clear early in life that I would join the corporate world. My father (late Barindra Kumar Sircar) was in the pharmaceutical industry and I found it very exciting the way he travelled or how he prepared for his sales conferences. When I was barely 12, I used to help him prepare the charts for his conferences. Like a true leader he used to come back and give me feedback, saying people always asked him how his charts were the neatest and the best. My sister and I, we were brought up as ‘children’. There was no gender identity in the family space. For dad, we were two children who had to stand on their own feet. I believe the father plays an important role. If you see our Olympic stories this time, you’ll see the girls have been firmly backed by the father. Because he establishes a certain expectation from male colleagues and competitors even before you start your working life.  ... and Basu at her Sector V office.  I decided to give Calcutta a shot I was born in Calcutta, and raised in Bombay and Delhi. I did my graduation in commerce from R.A. Podar College of Commerce & Economics in Bombay and my management in finance from Bombay University. The year I was to start my career, 1985, my family moved back to Calcutta. My father was keen that I stay back in Bombay for my career, but we are a close-knit family and I decided to give Calcutta a shot. I got an opening at Exide, which was then Chloride India, a part of the Chloride UK Group, as a trainee. It was an exciting journey. I went on to take charge of the MIS (marketing information systems) and sales controller functions. In 1988, I was selected to go and work out of the Chloride Group office in London for about 10 months. I came back to India to a changing automobile market. I took charge of the advertising portfolio. New-generation cars were coming in, the manner in which you made batteries was changing…. Battery stores at that time were garage shops. In 1990, Exide led the transition from garage stores to high-end retail outlets. I am often asked why I chose to work in “male bastions” like automobiles or cement. But when I started, there were very few women as role models in the corporate space. Today we look at FMCG or banking as women-heavy sectors but I feel when all of us started our journey, we were a minority in our industry. I remember the first dealer conference I organised, the dealers confused me with the hotel staff (laughs). Frankly, I didn’t give much thought to this “male bastion” thing. And I was a general manager before I turned 30. In the year 2000, I was trained as an assessor by CII for its business excellence awards. I was also given a special citation for the CII Young Manager Award that year. I moved to Eveready in 2005.  Among the many products I handled, the interesting bit was battery-supported LED lighting systems. In 2006-07 it was still very new. Now it’s one of their primary businesses. Eveready was again a very different learning phase. Because FMCG and retail outlets are very competitive spaces, it’s very important to concentrate on the placement of your product, whereas Exide was more a franchisee model. I moved to Lafarge in 2010 as head of marketing and a member of the executive committee, cement division. The Lafarge Group is based out of Paris. Lafarge lays a stress on the channel-driven business, which is sale to consumers who build their own homes. One of our brands, Concreto, is across the country the most premium brand. We’ve had very innovative customer engagement programmes with this brand. Now I am handling the entire cement sales and marketing function and the entire branding direction for the organisation across its various functions. Work requires me to travel at least three days a week, anywhere from Gujarat to Haryana right up to the Northeast. In my previous roles, I have travelled to countries as diverse as Armenia, Singapore, Japan, South Korea, Dubai, even Afghanistan.  Women in middle management I am a past president of the Calcutta Management Association (CMA). I have actively tried to take time out for management sessions with the middle management in organisations like SBI or CESC or IBM or TCS. I came into contact with another The Telegraph She awardee, Smita Pandit Chakraborty, because I had held a couple of sessions with her team (at Phoenix Conveyor Belt India).  When I interact with women, particularly in the middle management, I do feel that the ones who make it have very definite leadership goals in mind. What challenges us most as women is you have your job and you have your family. In handling these two roles, many women take shortcuts in their own self-development. These, in a way, becomes limiting in a middle management career. So you don’t invest time in networking, in skill development… I know this lady who now has her own HR consultancy. She used to take a week off every year to go and skill-build in her field. Unless you do that there comes a time when you feel challenged by other colleagues around the table. If you don’t invest in your network, then when the time comes, you cannot leverage it.  A safety net of mentors You may not be able to move the system or an entire organisation overnight. What you can do is you can have senior ladies like me who have reached a certain goal, who have faced certain challenges, take on an active coaching or mentoring role. Because, you know, it’s a critical one or two years when you feel all these challenges are coming so somebody needs to show you the light at the end of the tunnel. A mentor-coach can also guide you to develop yourself. I need to recognise the role my family has played. Also the role my organisations have played. I have been lucky to work in organisations that have a gender-neutral footprint where what mattered first was the work you were doing. During a dealer conference tour in my Exide stint I had a miscarriage. My colleagues helped me to not only get to a hospital but get better and continue with my pending conferences. It wasn’t like, ‘Oh she has had a problem, put her on the next flight back home.’ What I would like to reach out and tell other young women managers is if you are not finding that ecosystem in the place you are working, but you still love your work, you must try to reach out to an ecosystem that can help you. And today social networking gives you that space to connect with other women managers. She Awards  Honestly, it was very exciting. To see that it is people in the business and corporate space who have noted your contribution, then you feel you are adding value, not only to others but more importantly to yourself. For me it was not just that moment of going there and receiving the She Award but a feeling that I am in a direction where I want to move forward.

A to Z Work Travelogue : A for Afghanistan

I could name a place, for almost every alphabet, that I would have traveled to on work. With the exception of a Q, X, V and Z, I could draw up a fair list of cities, towns and countries, traveling since the last 27 years. Each place is etched in the mind through first impressions, negotiations, food and sometimes a 'must visit' tourist site. Some of the memories are fading and unlike these days, photographing (and uploading on Instagram or FB) and recording food, people and moments was not a way of life. The act of listing the places, itself, brought back some memories and the urge to record these before they completely fade away.

I am yet to make up my mind on whether to do this in alphabetic series, by preference, randomly or basis my recall of the visit / place. 20 plus blogs is a long way to go, so let us see how this unfolds. On the first country, though, there is no second thought as A for Afghanistan is in alphabetic series, stands for intrigue and holds vivid memories.

The first images as we land in Kabul is a single word - devastated.

We traveled as part of a CII organised exhibition of products from 170 companies. The previous year, in December 2001, President Hamid Karzai had taken charge of a transition government of post- Taliban Afghanistan. Riding on the back of Indian aid, CII started working on meets and delegations from early 2002 and this particular exhibition was held at the sprawling Kabul Polytechnic Grounds in early October. 

The bus ride to our hotel and thereafter for the next 3-4 days to and from the exhibition grounds, stays in my 'ears'. I was caught by surprise at the blaring number 'Soldier - Soldier' from Preity Zinta's first movie and it stuck in the mind as appropriate for the dry, barren, bombed and destroyed structures on both sides of the road.

The next memory is of our car as it wound its way through the more crowded bazar streets. We had the luxury to move the wrong way on a one-way street. The crowds parted to make way for the 'mehmaan'. This beautiful Urdu word for guests was something we kept hearing for the next few days, as everyone stepped in with a smile to help us. 

The bazaar was crowded, with mainly street vendors. What caught our eye was the mounds of dried mulberry.

Highly recommended for the diabetic, was this white variant but the more popular type was black. I brought home a fair quantity and would probably still find some tucked in a corner of the refrigerator.  One adventurous member of the team picked up a Persian rug but otherwise there wasn't much to buy other than dry fruits, asafoetida  (of excellent quality) and maybe saffron.

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In fact, the Indian exhibition was the shopping destination for the locals, who thronged the place during general visitor hours. We had engaged a young college student as assistant and interpreter. He stoically stood by us, fussing around and helping at the stall, while furtively checking his watch for the open hours. His day 1 shopping list included Sona Chandi Chyvanprash for his father! In comparison, the business sessions in the morning saw very little footfalls.

Not to say, though, that need and potential business opportunities were missing. We did manage a couple of business meetings, including one past 7pm, under armed escort. On the outskirts of Kabul, we visited a community living in row houses within a walled space. The only source of electricity was a generator set with loosely hanging electrical lines and light points in the homes of the 18 odd families that lived in this enclosed space. Clearly, there was need for storage batteries and mini wind power systems - our product line that was on exhibit. The need was, however, not backed by ability to pay.

A couple of business contacts, later touched base with us in Delhi & Kolkata.

They endorsed the Arsalan biryani and recommended a portion of roomali roti to be eaten at the end of the meal to facilitate digestion. In Delhi, I recall a marathon 12 - 14 hour negotiation round, punctuated by just their Ramzan prayer break. That too, at our office, they sought my help for a piece of cloth to spread out on the floor. My colleague was quick to pull out a banner, stating that it would bring our business luck. 

Wonderful moments, those. I learnt patience and tenacity and wish we could have converted it to some good business. 

Rotis, Ghee & Me

Some years back, at a Company do, I opted for the Continental lunch. An European colleague, his plate loaded with paneer butter masala, chicken curry and baby naan, wondered at my choice of what he called "foreign fare". I jokingly responded, "what you have on that plate is as foreign to a Bengali as what I have taken". At that point in time, though, I had yet to find out that there is truly nothing called "Indian food". Traveling through the states of Bihar, Rajasthan, Bengal, Haryana - you name it, the variety is finger-licking amazing.

On a flight back home, after an intensive tour of the Marwar belt of Rajasthan, I just said "no" to in-flight dinner. What I ate over the last few days is easier to capture in words and photographs. What cannot be shared, however, is the warmth with which the food was served, be it at a local Dhaba or a dealer's residence.

My first stop was a home-cooked "feast''. Nothing else could describe the 14 odd dishes that was placed before me. Two smiling young ladies shuttled between the kitchen and the table, with what seemed like an unending line of dishes. I was advised to start the meal with something sweet and wisely ignored the ladoos, cashew and malai barfis to opt for the malai kachori. Then came the main course. Bajre ki roti (a favourite and something I got to eat after many years) accompanied by a variety of dishes, all a first for me. I must be honest, here, the generous helping of ghee on the rotis is something I would like to forget.  I reached out first for what looked like the familiar Kari and was told that this is a slightly different dish called dahi-fry (yoghurt fired with spices). The ground turmeric dish with cashews and the Kair Sangari, were not just local but recommended only for winters and signalling that I was a very important guest.

The next day we stopped at a Dhaba. My colleagues were very concerned that I would not be able to sit at the desi tables - a charpoy, with a wooden plank at the centre. Two people sat bow-legged on either side of the plank, on which the food is served.
The Dhaba owner was briefed the previous day, so we had a proper table set up for us. Seeing his apparent anxiety over the preparations, I didn't have the heart to tell him that I would have enjoyed the charpoy seating (a lost opportunity to showcase how I stay fit with yoga,too). The dishes were slight variants of the previous day's meal.

On this long road journey, we were back at another Dhaba in the evening.

The bar was raised this time, with the local officer managing a bed sheet as a makeshift table cloth!
The high point of this meal was a special thick wheat roti called tukkad. Business was brisk at this place, as two tourist buses and a couple of trucks stopped by. I recall an explosion of flavours, of freshly cooked veggies, but got too busy eating with my ghee soaked fingers to stop and take some photographs.

The final meal, this afternoon was at a place called Baba Ramdev Restaurant. This time, we shared a couple of tukkads with gatte ki sabzi, tamatar - sev ki sabzi and the, by now, familiar dahi -fry. With all these meals, the garlic chutney, sugarcane jaggery bits, gond (guar gum) ladoos and glasses of buttermilk, need a special mention.

The restaurant manager, at the last place, was friendly. No, the demonetisation had not hurt their business much. As he philosophically put it "people may opt for one less roti, curry or ghee but eat, they have to"! As we rushed out of the place I forgot to check whether the Baba Ramdev name has added to their business with his ever growing showcase yoga and Patanjali fame. 

Somethings you save for another visit, another time!

Footsteps on the sand

It was a June afternoon, drizzly with overcast skies. We stood at the edge of a slushy tract trying to focus on a clump of coconut trees at a distance. The broker stood beside us, animatedly explaining where the road connector would come up from this ‘piece’ of land to the main road. He was trying to sell us the property for a ‘farmhouse’- our weekend getaway from the city and post-retirement destination. 

This search for a property was by then a familiar weekend pastime. Till one Friday morning, we chanced upon an advertisement on the Home & Property pages of Telegraph. A house by the sea in the beach town of Digha was up for sale. We fell in love with the place, instantly and the next six months was a whirlwind. We were caught up in buying the place, renovating, interior-designing and landscaping. Every Friday, we hit the highway with the kids and returned on Sunday evenings. Slowly our favourite books, family games, my son’s cricket paraphernalia, kitchenware and full set of clothes, was up at the house. We only needed to drive down to another ‘home’.

The highway was under construction and we told ourselves that we really didn’t mind the four hours of drive. The Government was upbeat on many projects and there was talk of the Raichak Expressway over river Haldi. We estimated that in a couple of years travel time would be down to two-and-a-half hours.

On the other side, the house was taking good shape. We discovered some old Sarkar branded chullahs and set up a barbeque pit, built a balcony space overlooking the sea, planted our X’mas tree the first season and played cricket with our 7 year old on a well maintained lawn.

Paintings by my daughter

Salim project got dropped, the State Government changed but these little changes remained news clips as we were well engrossed and adjusted to the new pace of life. For us, Digha remained a family space. For my parents, suffering from cancer and mom-in-law with limited mobility, unable to travel, the house was the only holiday option. My daughter, painted murals on the walls of the house and looked forward to the evenings when the beach town gathered life. There were vendors hawking shell knick-knacks, the roundabouts in winter, the first ice-cream parlour and the balloons for target shooting. We were probably slow to notice that hawkers were proliferating, newer places for ‘’fooding’’ and lodging coming up and the return trips were getting longer with heavier traffic.

About this time, we planned a holiday at Pattaya. My son was quite impressed with the drive from Bangkok airport to Pattaya. Browsing through some tourist literature, later, he asked us very innocently, “what do you think is the distance from Bangkok to Pattaya”.

Me, Ï am not sure, what does the brochure say?”.

“167 km and we made it in 1 ½ hour. Now, what is the distance between our home and Digha?”

 

He had a good point, there. 187 km and we were taking 3 – 4 hours each way. On one long weekend, due to some political rally, we reached past midnight, completely exhausted and after a 7 hour drive. Another weekend we came back from mid-way. However, these were quickly brushed aside as stray incidents and we kept looking forward to the weekends.

On one such weekend, we were approached by 2 gentlemen offering to sell us the tract between our home and the sea front. ‘But, that’s within 250 yards of the sea and in our knowledge cannot be used for constructing a building’, we said. Not wanting to be caught by surprise, we did evince interest and asked to see the property documents. After some follow-up from our end, we concluded that the property was not properly backed with papers. Much to our surprise, the plot did get sold and a horrific three storey tall structure came up, completely blocking our view of the sea. 

Where earlier incidents were discordant, this was the moment of disconnect. We stopped our regular weekend jaunts. The children got engrossed in their studies. They did return a couple of times, though, with their friends. Somewhere, deep down, we know that change – in the skyline, quality of tourists, age and taste of our children, parents passing away – contributed in small ways towards our dwindling interest. Even as a post-retirement destination, the place had lost its attraction with the sea-view gone!

The current government has worked to have the place spruced up. Train connectivity has improved. Throughout winter, the place is choc-a-bloc over weekends. What it still lacks is good quality food or eateries, leave alone a respectable restaurant. The power grid is unreliable and power-outs are common in summers when A/Cs are in us or when a Norwester disconnects the cables.

Interestingly, one summer holiday while working on a project with my son, we discovered that Warren Hastings had referred to Digha as the Brighton of the East. Out of inquisitiveness, I visited Brighton in September this year. It might be the fond memories of Digha but at first sight, I did relate with Hastings. There are many parallels to draw between the two places. Both don’t cater to very high end tourists, are low on glamour, have a long sea front, small beach town activities for families to engage with their kids. What makes the big difference are the wide promenade, the excellent Fisn-n-chip stores, the clean road and beach and the quietness that compliments the scenic beauty of the Brighton shores. 

Brighton by the Sea

The excellent Fish-n-chips store

We have sold off the property. On some odd Saturday evenings, there is that slight tug at the heart, when one misses the kids (who are now away and studying abroad), Panther & Elsa our lovely Labradors and those moments of simple family bonding and carefree times. Digha will always remain a part of us but our presence there will fade out in time, like footsteps on the sand.

A Moment in Time with Sister Nivedita

A lady born 100 years before me. Someone I have known only as a 'line item' in history texts. Her calling was social work and nationalism - against my corporate career and comfort with multiculturalism. 

These were some of the first thoughts on my mind, when The Sisters of The Ramakrishna Sarada Mission invited me to speak as part of their Sister Nivedita's 150th birth anniversary celebrations. The topic   - Is Sister Nivedita relevant for today's Corporate woman?

I chose to explore the subject in three dimensions:

* Does her personality lend itself to becoming a role model for today's corporate woman?
* Are there any relevant lessons from her writings?
* What do we learn from others who have known her?


Role model for today’s Corporate Woman

We see in Margaret Elizabeth Noble (long before she met Swami Vivekananda and became Sister Nivedita) a social worker, teacher and author. She chose to excel in all fields and pioneered teaching methods which explored beyond mere instruction to real awakening of the mind. As a writer she was one of the founding members of the Sesame Club - the oldest literary club of England. She had an eclectic choice of subjects with equal affinity for physics, arts, music and literature. During these early years and later in coming to India, she exhibited the courage to follow her dreams.

What she wrote about Women

There are two significant essays that I concentrated on to understand her position on women - 'the future education of the Indian woman' & 'The present position of women'. I share some of her thoughts, juxtaposing these in the context of the contemporary working woman.

** Education
"Synthesis of history, geography and science must be achieved by both man & woman as there is no sex in truth"

She repeatedly emphasised on the need to give relevant education to women and integrate them in the struggle for nationalism. She mentioned about three elements for a complete education - Nature (science), Earth (geography) and Time (history). She had deep conviction, that every individual must understand the context of nationality by first studying the history of the land – with its divergent elements of culture, race and language. This knowledge then needs synthesis in the larger context of other Nations or the worldview. Finally, one needs to explore and understand the many elements of Nature and our interaction and existence within this space. As she put it "education and character leads to true realisation of knowledge". This focus on science and gender neutral knowledge is akin to the call, even today, for more women in coding, stem cell research and other science and engineering streams, which still remain male bastions.

** Self Reliance 
"The whole of East understands the need of a woman's having pin- money. In India such matters as sale of milk, cattle and fruit are all the perquisites of the mistress of the household"

Interestingly, in her essay on the position of women, she mentions how pin-money has been an essential income and savings base for the homemaker across countries and generations. We have all been hearing a lot about this lady's hoard for the rainy day as the demonetisation news broke out. She had the vision of widows about 20 yrs of age making jams, pickles and chutneys for markets in England and America. She mentions that "main advance of women come from striking out into new professions and careers by unmarried women" a matter which requires attention, to date, in girl child education and job options. "In India we have a few women doctors and writers" she rues

** Gender Diversity
"From end to end of India, all who understand are agreed that the education of our women needs, at this crisis, undergo some revision. Without their aid and cooperation none of the tasks of the present can be finally accomplished. The problems of the day are woman's as well as mans"

In the above lines, I find her call for gender diversity in the nationalism movement akin to what we seek to achieve in Top management and Company Boards. Ethics, EQ and the capability to handle complex relationships are, even today, research backed claims for diversity.

** Women Leaders as Role Models
"In India also women have held power from time to time as rulers and administrators often with memorable success.......
The woman ruler finds a sentiment of awe and admiration waiting for her which gives her an immense advantage over a man in the completion for enduring fame"

Her reference to women leaders in an attempt to raise awareness and engagement, has a strong relevance even today. We see, Industry and HR fora engaging with and rewarding Corporate Women Leaders to encourage a sense of identity with and awareness of career direction amongst other women.

** Civic Consciousness
"Under the civic ideal, both men and women tend to be recognised as individuals holding definite relations to each other in the public economy and by their own free will cooperating to build the family"

"Regarding the civic evolution of woman as a process it is easy to see that it will always take place most rapidly in those communities and at those epochs when political or industrial transformation or both are most energetic and individuating". 

Her comments in the context of bringing women into the mainstream of public life, finds resonance in today's corporate and political spheres. We all recognize that an environment has to be provided for more and more women to participate across in all works of life.

Views from her friends and associates

Exploring her relevance through the lens of others who knew her closely was my third and final effort. 

Mrs J C Bose, writes about the "Great love between father and child". She mentions about her father's conviction that there will be a larger calling for her, which is, personally, closest to my heart. I believe that a father, in many ways, defines the sense of self-worth, provides the first experience of collaborative work and helps develop communication and persuasion skills for asserting presence in a man’s world. The very important vision, that there is no man or woman’s bastion, is first learnt at home. We read the same messages in what our winning Olympian trio of 2016 – P V Sindhu, Sakshi Malik & Deepa Karmakar, shared in their interviews. 

A single mindedness is definitely required when you step out to break barriers. Here, we could take some learning from J F Alexander's obituary, where he talks about "work work work was her motto" and "with her passes one of those few who have made Hinduism masculine and aggressive". Mrs Bose saw in her the strength or resolve of a singular object, to serve our women as one from within. Her personality earned her the sobriquet of Thunderbolt.

S K Ratcliffe, a journalist with The Statesman refers to her comments at a debate at The Dalhousie Institute (a social club) on the subject of Marriage v/s Celibacy. A hundred years ago she gave ‘a brilliant little exposition of the contrasted and complementing views of the place of woman as mother and as individual’.

Surely then, a hundred years later, we could actively learn from her deep intellectualism, clear sense of purpose, indefatigable resolve to achieve her object and her prolific writings. 

Officially, Friends

A good friendship, formed at the workplace is a rare blessing. A professional with whom you share a common knowledge space, who can provide you judicious feedback and is there to lend you an ear on those tough days, helps in making work enjoyable and bringing out the vibrant, creative "you".

Forming such friendships, however, is difficult in a competitive space and establishing lasting trust is the acid test. While not central to this piece, I shall, later, touch on whether the going gets more difficult if you are a woman.

What makes workplace relationships different is the need for balanced conduct. The friendship is suppose to facilitate a better work environment and definitely cannot support high emotive outbursts or toxicity. How then does one identify such potential individuals and reach out to form lasting friendships. 

I have, with experience distilled 3 simple ways to recognise a good workplace friend :

#Quality of conversation

Such friends actually do not talk much about the job, gossip about other colleagues or the workplace environment. A good friend makes conversation rich, seeking creative thoughts or a fresh approach to the task on hand. With such a person you share books, might include socialising with families and can bank on support when facing some difficulty. They make good sounding boards, without allowing you to wallop in negative thoughts. Make sure, though, what is shared in confidence is respected and any slip on this account must not be ignored. 

# Respect in group dynamics

Beware of any over-familiarity, as good friends are never 'that'. They neither exhibit a special favoured status nor do they indulge in vitriolic attacks during a debate. Respect is essential to any relationship and more so at the workplace.

# Implicit trust

This is particularly important if you happen to report to the same boss. A friend might have the advantage of catching a good idea from an earlier conversation or be aware of a certain weakness in your group dynamics. Be alert to any early signs of her/ him taking advantage of this knowledge particularly in small group meetings with a senior.

There are some safe zones to nurture such friendships, one being the golf course. A common interest is a good starting ground or sometimes a special project / assignment. Such situations generate positive vibes and form a more lasting connect. It is essential to remember that the purpose of a workplace is commercial and given the choice between friend and job, the latter always wins. A friendship that rests on a shared interest, therefore, is more sustainable. At the same time, there are some friendships that may, despite best efforts of all concerned, go awry. It is important to recognise when to walk away, without bitterness or being frightened off from forming new friends.

It is not always easy, though, when you are the only lady in your immediate working group. An ex-colleague, who is today a celebrity in her chosen profession, used to sit by herself and have lunch. Each afternoon, I would see her sitting quietly apart, while the rest of my team would be joking or in animated discussion, clearly relaxing during lunch break. One afternoon, I urged her to join her other colleagues. I put it to her this way " you are the only lady in my team, whereas there are five men. It might just be a little awkward for one of them to make the first move and invite you. I'm sure though, if you were to join them, you'll be made to feel more than welcome". She smiled and heard me out and I walked off to have lunch with a colleague and an endearing friend, to this date ( though we have both moved from the earlier Organization). She did take my advice and I benefited as a manager with her growing acceptability within the team. 

Further, on this subject, two starkly different incidents come to my mind. In one Organization, where I had worked 17 years, we were in Bangkok for a dealer conference. It was a big event and we had been working very hard. After the event, the team wanted to see some bit of Bangkok and were planning a walk through Pat Pong. One colleague (nay, friend) insisted that I should join; his point being that we were a team and stood his ground firmly. 

Now, cut to another Organization and another outstation meeting. After a day of fairly stressed out discussions, I found my colleagues quickly dispersed. The day had been tough and I was looking forward to some relaxing conversation and much required bonding with my colleagues to diffuse some of the tension generated in the day long discussions. I knew the ball was in my court. I had to make them see the point that they had naturally converged over a drink while leaving me out. 

When interacting with women managers, I have often sighted the above examples. My take is that you need to make the first move, attach importance to social networking / bonding and define the ground rules of trust and respect.

It sounds cliched but the fact is that more than a third of our day is spent at the workplace ( much more if your work entails travel every week). Given the sheer hours you clock, that technically becomes your only space to form friendships - learn, share, grow and rightfully, enjoy.

Travel tales - the women I meet

You will not have heard about these women. Nor had I till work took me to the interior markets of Rajasthan and Madhya Pradesh. For all known purposes these States favour the male child. Take any yardstick - literacy, employment, sex ratio, mean age at marriage - and the picture is grim. Yet, respect for tradition runs alongside respect for women. Amidst the apparent contradiction, I have seen and shared some beautiful moments with strongly bonded families.

In these stretches, typically a dealer store is an extension of the family home. The house rests atop the store. A warm cup of masala chai is prepared at home and served with some hot snacks, fruits and or dry fruits. Nowadays, given the market grapevine, they have learnt of my preference for black coffee without sugar. A drink affectionately prepared ("bitter coffee with just hot water?") not fully understood and curiously watched over, when partaken. Business discussions over, I am invited to meet the family. It is very common to be introduced to the girl child who is invariably studying CA or architecture. As one of my dealer's wife explained " Aur kuch nahin toh shaadi ke baad, ghar behete ek-aad IT file kar legi" ( if not anything else she can earn a little income by managing a couple of Income Tax files). I am slowly building a network of bright young girls, who are being encouraged to adopt me as a role model. I must, honestly admit, this makes me feel proud.

The expectation from the boy child on the other hand is a mere graduation. "Zyada padhne se kya hoga. Business toh sambhalna padhega" (what is the use of higher education as he will have to help out in the family business).  

This is not to give the impression that young ladies are not considering a career. I have met students in engineering, business management and those employed in the IT sector and hope to follow them in the years to come in the Corporate sector. Recently, I met a feisty channel partner's wife, with a legal background, in government service, working as counsellor for rape victims. 

Earlier in this week, I was being served by an unassuming elderly lady, as I sat around with my team and dealer. It was a lunch invite at his home. Suddenly, the dealer mentioned with a lot of pride that his mother had retired from government service. She was a teacher. Not just that, she used to take a bus and then trudge 4 Kms each way ( sometimes carrying him in her arms, as they did not have the requisite support systems at home). His mother went on to explain how financial difficulties hit them when the family business went through a rough patch and her father suggested that she become self reliant. The girl child education came in handy and she could take up the teaching job.

The other surprises are retail outlets, across the country and in my previous stint in FMCG, where the lady of the house "man the store" (chauvinism intended) in the mid-morning slot, while her husband is away to the nearest town for stocking-up. Sitting at the counter from 11 am - 2 pm, after finishing the household chores and before the children return from school is not uncommon. A dealer in Chattisgarh, recently mentioned with pride, that his wife anchored prices at the store several times better than him.

Adversity may sometimes become that chance call on diversity. A husband's sudden death, disability or accident, when the children are young and studying, may well bring the lady of the house to take charge of the business. 

An intriguing combination is the covertly supportive wife. She will normally keep a respectful distance while conversation is on, standing behind her husband but chip-in with some sharp observation on a commercial point. In a market we have recently entered, I had the pleasant surprise of the lady of the house praising the earlier Company and placing expectations from us, while her husband ( the dealer) shuffled his feet and grinned sheepishly trying to interject. 

This might be a very limited snapshot but when I meet these ladies I see strength of character, smartness and a seamless bond between the urban corporate me and the homemaker lady in the many towns of India.